By far the greatest cause of the emotional disturbances that make us avoid reality is our childhood relationships with our parents. Doing this can transform your grip on the truth for the better. Discover the ways in which your past may be distorting your present. To achieve that you must be honest with yourself about your usual approach to life. So when it comes to optimism or pessimism, “hope for the best, prepare for the worst” is an ideal motto. In contrast, the unrealistic pessimist is prone to chronic depression and anxiety, which brings its own set of problems. But the illusions they create mean they are less capable of connecting and developing real intimacy with others, which can make them lonely and miserable. They also are deceived about the rosiness of their future. For this they pay a heavy price, and are much more prone to feeling stressed and suffering physical illnesses, from common psychosomatic complaints such as unexplained tummy trouble and headaches to life-threatening heart attacks.Īnother group of people who are unrealistically optimistic are the overly narcissistic who only are happy when they are the center of attention. They just cannot stand the bad news about life. They systematically delete negative information about themselves and their lives. Unrealistic people include those who repress problems, insisting that everything is fine and the future is rosy, almost regardless of reality. Realistic optimism is actually a sign of and byproduct of mental health, says James.
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